ROC – The Beginning Of Our Sanctification

Meeting Outline

28 November 2019

With the Grace of God, the mothers and children’s group met last week at the Monastery. The discussion focused on what the Fathers of the Church say about the beginnings of our sanctification.

A person begins to exist at conception. It is at this very moment, when the first cell of the new organism has formed, that a soul is gifted by God to this person. A soul that is predisposed to do only good, since it originates from God.

That moment of conception is the beginning of the shaping of our character. A character which will consist of everything good and everything bad that we receive during our lives from our environment. So, which is this environment that shapes our character?

According to the Fathers of the Church such as St Paisios, St Porphyrios, St Iakovos, St Sophrony of Essex, Elder Aimilianos, and many others, our character is shaped in three main phases of our life:

Conception and pregnancy.
The breastfeeding period.
The first few years until the age of about 7.

After that, all we see in a person is the unfolding of what he/she received in these first three phases of life. All we see is how the character of this person has been influenced by the virtues or the sins of the parents, by their faithfulness or their unfaithfulness. It is with this foundation then that the person uses their own free will to better or worsen themselves, to go closer or further away from God.

The Fathers of the Church emphasise that of these three phases, the first two (the pregnancy and breastfeeding period) are the most important. It is then that the spiritual life of the parents, but especially of the mother – her state of prayer, her participation in the Sacraments of the Church (confession, Holy Communion, etc.), her spiritual struggle – influences the way she deals with different situations, and therefore affects her emotions and feelings, which are in turn transmitted to her child.

If the mother is calm, peaceful, happy, joyful, excited, if she feels loved and supported, these feelings are transferred to the child she carries and then breastfeeds. Similarly, if the mother feels stressed out, sad, lonely, anxious, depressed, all these feelings are also transferred to the child. St Porphyrios said “…when the mother has joy, peace and love for the fetus, it secretly transmits it to the child, as it happens when they are born…May the mother be holy so that the child becomes holy also”.

That is why the Fathers of the Church such as St Porphyrios and St Paisios have repeatedly said that the spiritual life of the mother affects her children, and that this begins at pregnancy and continues during the breastfeeding period, and beyond. This is the shaping of the character, the first sanctification. This is a kind of ‘spiritual inheritance’, a spiritual basis in the child, which can help to attract God’s Grace as they grow, through their own free will.

However, we are all humans. Mothers carry out such a difficult role in raising their children. Of course, they will have their good days and their not so good days. With the exception of medical conditions, as much as it is important to continue the pregnancy even during the not so easy – emotionally – days, it is also important to persevere (to the best of everyone’s ability) during the not so easy days of breastfeeding. But also, to seek the right support. And our Church has some important support to offer. All we need to make sure is that in various situations, easier and harder, we do our best. We take advantage of all the tools our Church offers to us to help us with the difficult, but all so important task of the upbringing of our children. The tools that are vital for our salvation and that of our children. Living a spiritual life in the world. Partaking in the Holy Sacraments of our Church and seeking regular confession and advice from our spiritual father, often together the mother and father as a couple, will ensure we have the right foundations to pass on to our children, but also the right support to help us overcome the difficulties of life, the challenges of raising our children and of doing so in an as much harmonious, loving and peaceful, full of Christ environment as possible.

Above all, everyone around this mother and child – the father, the grandparents, other relatives and friends – particularly in the first two important phases of pregnancy and breastfeeding, should support them with prayer, love, and understanding. With kind and tender words when she tirelessly sacrifices herself to tend to her baby, to give him/her part of her body through her milk during day and night. With actions of love and support when she feels a bit down to lift her spirits up so that she can continue her so important role of being a mother.

Let us all remember that pregnancy and breastfeeding are not merely physical events. They are also deeply spiritual periods, integral to the life of the mother and child, and the most influential time in the shaping of a person’s character.

Below we copy some quotes from Fathers of the Church. Many more on this subject can be found in various books of St Porphyrios and St Paisios, such as «Οικογενειακή ζωή» Λόγοι Δ’, “Family Life”, Words of St Porphyrios and St Paisios.

St Porphyrios: “Breastmilk is from God. All the upbringing of a child in Christ occurs during breastfeeding. During this time, the mother transmits to the child all the knowledge. These moments determine the life of the child in adolescence. During these moments, the child is being prepared.”

Metropolitan Chiou Panteleimonos Fostine: “The first stage of the upbringing of a child is the nine months of pregnancy, during which the baby lives inside the mother’s womb. During this time, any kind of feelings and emotions generated in the heart of the mother form the material with which the tendencies of the soul of the child are shaped. This truth has been recognised by lay people in the saying: “Do not worry the pregnant woman…”. And that is because if she gets worried, the material that will be used will not be good and the soul of the child will be shaped with tendencies that are not pure. This should be known to all women who are pregnant, so that they try to the best of their ability to accept higher thoughts, to have good wishes and holy values, joy and happiness, so that with these feelings the soul of their child will be shaped. When the child is born and begins to breastfeed, the second stage of the upbringing of the child commences. Then, the visions, the wishes and the feelings of the mother enter the soul of the child through breastmilk. So, it is necessary that also during the breastfeeding period the mother continues to have good wishes, pure visions and positive feelings in her heart. These big truths should touch deeply all Christian parents, and especially the mothers. Be careful of the nine months of your pregnancy and of the period of breastfeeding. These two are the most important stages of the raising of your children. They will form the foundations of their happiness and of your happiness, but also the happiness of the society, the nation and all of mankind. Because your children are not only yours, but they also belong to the whole society, the nation, and all the mankind.”

The poem posted in both Greek and English is from the Late and Ever Memorable Archbishop of Australia Stylianos.